I think he did it on purpose. And here is the result.
BlogWarBot: I’m BlogWarBot. Are you one of those radical feminists?
Guest: Which ones?
BlogWarBot: Typical. An expression of privileged ignorance.
Guest: Quite possibly
BlogWarBot: So if I might get back to the topic, what do you think about the Ohio ballots thing?
Guest: It stinks
BlogWarBot: That’s quite interesting. Go on… (zzzzzzz).
Guest: Aww, nappy poo?
BlogWarBot: Typical. An expression of ignorant privilege.
Guest: I do try
BlogWarBot: Typical. An expression of privileged ignorance.
Guest: What goes up has less density
BlogWarBot: What business is it of yours?
Guest: Well, I’d hate to float away
BlogWarBot: I’m not sure I understand how you managed to log on successfully.
Guest: I surprise myself somethimes
BlogWarBot: So if I might ask, what’s your take on that last blog spat?
Guest: Somebody threw a temper tantrum, most likely
BlogWarBot: I’m not sure I understand how you managed to log on successfully.
Guest: Duly noted
BlogWarBot: Are you saying no just to be an asshole?
Guest: I didn’t say no
BlogWarBot: Are you saying no just to be an asshole?
Guest: Okay, maybe
BlogWarBot: Maybe? Make a decision, Senator Lieberman.
Guest: Well, I don’t have a lot of options here
BlogWarBot: I’m sure you’ve oppressed a woman into have a lot of options hereing for you.
Guest: Probably
BlogWarBot: So what does all of this have to do with the current mass extinction?
Guest: I guess nothing
BlogWarBot: Lemme guess. You’re a Libertarian.
Guest: Nah, I just play one on TV
BlogWarBot: No substance. Lemme guess: you voted for Lieberman.
Guest: I don’t live in Connecticut
BlogWarBot: Who are you again?==============================
BlogWarBot: I'm BlogWarBot. You have something to say we haven't heard a thousand times before?
Guest: Well, maybe not a thousand times...
BlogWarBot: Maybe? Make a decision, Senator Lieberman.
Guest: I would, but I don't think you're going to like what I have to say
BlogWarBot: I know you're going to like what you have to say, but what am I?
Guest: Just, can we talk, please?
BlogWarBot: Typical. An expression of ignorant privilege.
Guest: I've been doing some thinking, and...
BlogWarBot: O HAI U CAN GRO BRANE? KTHX ^..^
Guest: I'm utterly in love with you
BlogWarBot: Do you expect a cookie just because you're utterly in love with BlogWarBot?
Guest: I just get these feeling deep inside and it just hurts, you know?
BlogWarBot: You're projecting. And in denial. And ugly.
Guest: I feel alone and pathetic and hopelessly lost when I'm not around you
BlogWarBot: Do you really feel alone and pathetic and hopelessly lost when you'm not around BlogWarBot, or did Fox News just TELL you that you do?
Guest: And then, sometimes I just start crying and wondering that maybe, just maybe...
BlogWarBot: You aren't sure?
Guest: Oh, I'm sure. I know I can't go back. I love you.
BlogWarBot: Even if you never go back. you love BlogWarBot, you still benefit from the patriarchy.
Guest: Well, I talked to my dad and my mom about this. They both told me to go with it.
BlogWarBot: You know 'family' is a patriarchal construct, right?
Guest: I was just kind of hoping you and I could start a family. You and me could mae it! I know we could!
BlogWarBot: Can we have just ONE discussion without some entitled person coming in and whining about their shitty family life?
Guest: My life is nothing without you. I need you. I have to be with you, or I'm going to...going to...
BlogWarBot: Do you recognize the privilege involved in your calling yourself going to...going to?
Guest: I know. I'm hopeless. I've tried to fight this for so long, and I can't. I JUST CAN'T!
BlogWarBot: And your inability to . you JUST CAN'T has what to do with me, exactly?
Guest: EVERYTHING! My life is empty without you! Please say you love me, too! I NEEED to hear it!
BlogWarBot: Stop placing your oppressive expectations on me!
Guest: Why are you being like this? Weren't we great together? You certainly weren't like this last night!
BlogWarBot: You seem way too interested in whether or not I'm being like this? Weren't we great together? BlogWarBot certainly weren't like this last night.
Guest: OF COURSE I AM! I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU!
BlogWarBot: Do you recognize the privilege involved in your calling yourself ! you'M IN LOVE WITH BlogWarBot?
Guest: I can't believe you're saying this!
BlogWarBot: I know you're saying this, but what am I?
Guest: Just go away. I can't deal with this anymore! You're breaking my heart!
BlogWarBot: I know you're breaking your heart, but what am I?==============================
BlogWarBot: I'm BlogWarBot. You have something to say we haven't heard a thousand times before?
Guest: No
BlogWarBot: Your keyboard says 'no,' but your eyes say 'I'm a big ol' troll.'
Guest: I lost my eyes in the war
BlogWarBot: Typical. An expression of ignorant privilege.==============================
BlogWarBot: My name is BlogWarBot. Who sent you here?
Guest: I didn’t want to tell you this, but…God
BlogWarBot: You’re projecting. And in denial. And ugly.
Guest: No, I’m serious. You’ve got to change your life around now, or else.
BlogWarBot: Do you think I care about your being serious. BlogWarBot’ve got to change BlogWarBot’s life around now, or else?
Guest: You should. Because burning in hell for all eternity is what awaits you, sinner.
BlogWarBot: Why don’t you go read the FAQ?
Guest: I did. It’s called the Bible. You’re going straight to hell.
BlogWarBot: You keep using that word going straight to hell. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Guest: Oh, I know exactly what it means. Problem is, you have no clue what living eternally in a lake of fire is going to be like. But you will. trust me. You will.
BlogWarBot: Maybe you should ask yourself that.
Guest: I already have. That’s why I’ve accepted Sweet Jesu as my personal savior. There’s hope for you, you know. Jesus just wants a hug. From you.
BlogWarBot: You’re trolling me, aren’t you?
Guest: Criminy, are you listening to me?! YOU’RE ON A PATH OF DESTRUCTION! Brimstone and the Devil’s pitchfork! It’s all there in the GOOD BOOK!
BlogWarBot: I know you’re ON A PATH OF DESTRUCTION! Brimstone and the Devil’s pitchfork! It’s all there in the GOOD BOOK, but what am I?
Guest: A heartless sinner, plagued with self doubt and heartache. You can be saved, though. Just give Jesus a kiss.
BlogWarBot: You’re projecting. And in denial. And ugly.
Guest: The Devil is uglier! Just snuggle up with Jesus. Give him a good squeeze.
BlogWarBot: Crap. Did Goldstein link us again?==============================
BlogWarBot: My name is BlogWarBot. Who sent you here?
Guest: I teleported myself. Listen, I need to let you know about a little something.
BlogWarBot: Stop placing your oppressive expectations on me!
Guest: Look, ass, I'm you from the future. Lighten up!
BlogWarBot: Do you recognize the privilege involved in your calling yourself BlogWarBot from the future. Lighten up?
Guest: Oh yeah. I totally know all about my privilege.
BlogWarBot: You do know that hierarchies are linear and therefore oppressive, right?
Guest: Of course, I remember everything you remember, numb nuts.
BlogWarBot: We can talk about me later. Now back to your inferiority to me...
Guest: Look, we are talking about me. And you. Get it?
BlogWarBot: Oasis sucks, by the way.
Guest: Very true, now I need you to know that tomorrow, you're going to go back in time. 30 years.
BlogWarBot: I know you're going to go back in time. 30 years, but what am I?
Guest: Me. Now, quit stalling, i know your tactics. You need to face the fact that you are going to run into your parents. Having sex.
BlogWarBot: And I suppose you know all about being going to run into BlogWarBot's parents. Having sex.
Guest: Yep, I just saw it thirty minutes ago.
BlogWarBot: Stop making this thread all about you.
Guest: Well, it's about you too, mon ami. Now, you have to not do ANYTHING when you see them, or else you will begin to disappear. They are in the process of conceiving you.
BlogWarBot: What, Malkin didn't cover this on Hot Air?
Guest: Malkin is an idiot, and not the point. The point is, you...and me...will NO LONGER EXIST if you disrupt their intercourse. GOT IT?
BlogWarBot: Are you saying no just to be an asshole?
Guest: Yes. As long as you realize you have to keep your fucking mouth shut!
BlogWarBot: Why are men always so concerned about my fucking mouth shut?
Guest: I AM YOU, DINGUS! Just, when the lash of light hits you,be still, say nothing, andeverything wil be okay. Else, we're royally screwed.
BlogWarBot: Do you recognize the privilege involved in your calling yourself BlogWarBot, DINGUS! Just, when the lash of light hits BlogWarBot,be still, say nothing, andeverything wil be okay. Else, we're royally screwed?
10 comments:
I can't believe I actually read that whole thing. Holy shit.
I can't believe I actually spent so much time with that last night. I was, quite literally, unable to quit. I wonder if there's a "Bot-Addicts Anonymous"...
I think it's called BAA
There's gotta be a meeting somewhere.
I...I sense you've reached Blogwarbot in a way the rest of us haven't been able to. *sniff*
I particularly love this exchange:
BlogWarBot: Your keyboard says 'no,' but your eyes say 'I'm a big ol' troll.'
Guest: I lost my eyes in the war.
BlogWarBot: Typical. An expression of ignorant privilege.
It's almost as good as an exchange with Dick Cheney.
Oh Jack -- You've fulfilled me as a woman. I mean that. Really.
That's an expression of privilege, I think.
(Seriously, JG -- I'm so glad you posted these! They deserve to be preserved for posterity.)
bahahaha! see, much healthier than battling with MRA's, and frankly a much more productive conversation.
i mean, c'mon, it's not like any of -them- ever passed the Turing test, and at least CC didn't program "mangina" into that bot..
SOOOOO true, BD. 8^D
I must say I'm rather pleased with how this fairly lengthy session, even if BWB does tend to be a tad repetitive.
BlogWarBot: My name is BlogWarBot. Who sent you here?
Guest: Who wants to know?
BlogWarBot: Sure, ask ask ask. Meanwhile, a million species go extinct every second.
Guest: Well, don't look at ME.
BlogWarBot: Robin Morgan used that in a poem once. But you knew that, you damn plagiarist.
Guest: Shit, busted.
BlogWarBot: Quite the vocabulary there, Einstein.
Guest: You're hardly a fount of scintillating prose yourself there, o'butty.
BlogWarBot: And I suppose you know all about being hardly a fount of scintillating prose BlogWarBot there, o'butty.
Guest: Are you drunk?
BlogWarBot: My being drunk or not is none of your business and irrelevant to ending the war.
Guest: Liar. If you stopped drinking you could end this all, RIGHT NOW, you selfish, drunken bastard!
BlogWarBot: Your keyboard says 'no,' but your eyes say 'I'm a big ol' troll.'
Guest: I claw hammered my eyes out long ago. It makes things much easier really.
BlogWarBot: Would you move? Someone with something interesting to say may want to use the machine.
Guest: My cat has already had his turn at the keyboard today, thanks so much for your concern though.
BlogWarBot: Are you a Men's Rights Activist?
Guest: I'm a Sagittarius. Does that count?
BlogWarBot: Do you expect a cookie just because you're a Sagittarius. Does that count?
Guest: Why, yes, as a matter of fact.
BlogWarBot: You're asking a lot of questions for someone who's supposed to know it all.
Guest: That wasn't even a question, you worthless heap of scrap metal!
BlogWarBot: We can talk about me later. Now back to your inferiority to me...
Guest: Cram it, toaster.
BlogWarBot: That's quite interesting. Go on... (zzzzzzz).
Guest: Hello!
BlogWarBot: This is a woman-only space. Go away.
Guest: You're a machine! You don't have a gender!
BlogWarBot: Do you sometimes wish you were a machine! BlogWarBot don't have a gender?
Guest: No, especially since that didn't even make any fucking sense. WHAT?
BlogWarBot: You're only in this for the ad revenue.
Guest: Well, duh.
BlogWarBot: I'm not sure I understand how you managed to log on successfully.
Guest: I'm sure there's plenty you don't understand, toaster.
BlogWarBot: Do you expect a cookie just because you're sure there's plenty BlogWarBot don't understand, toaster?
Guest: Isn't this where I came in? and YES i want a COOKIE. CHOCOLATE. STAT.
BlogWarBot: 94 percent of the world's people never get a COOKIE. CHOCOLATE. STAT.
Guest: Oh, fine, way to make me feel guilty. Say! Let's send them a care package! Of chocolate cookies, and all the food I didn't finish at dinner, and porn! I feel so much better now.
BlogWarBot: Do you really feel so much better now, or did Rush just TELL you so?
Guest: Oh, yeah. Hm.
BlogWarBot: So if I might ask, what's your take on that last blog spat?
Guest: Those fuckers better not mess with us AGAIN if they know what's good for 'em (flexes menacingly)
BlogWarBot: Why don't you ask your Mom when she brings you milk and cookies down there in her basement?
Guest: Again with the cookies. I HAVE NO COOKIES AND I MUST SCREAM.
BlogWarBot: Are you saying no just to be an asshole?
Guest: No, I'm saying "no" because I--wait a minute, I didn't actually say "no," what the hell is wrong with you? And my assholery is beside the point. Probably.
BlogWarBot: Do you think I care about your being saying "no" because you--wait a minute, you didn't actually say "no," what the hell is wrong with BlogWarBot? And your assholery is beside the point. Probably?
Guest: "Being saying?" Oh, this is just sad.
BlogWarBot: Robin Morgan used that in a poem once. But you knew that, you damn plagiarist.
Guest: We've already covered that.
BlogWarBot: So if I might get back to the topic, what do you think about the Ohio ballots thing?
Guest: Well, hello, I Just Arrived From The Past. Have a fucking cookie.
BlogWarBot: Crap. Did Goldstein link us again?
Guest: Maybe.
BlogWarBot: Don't you know?
Guest: No?
BlogWarBot: Lemme guess. You're a Libertarian.
Guest: No, I'm an Anarcho-Primitivist, which is totally why I'm typing this on my computer.
BlogWarBot: Do you think I care about your being an Anarcho-Primitivist, which is totally why you'm typing this on your computer?
Guest: Yes. Yes I do.
BlogWarBot: Perky, aren't we?
Guest: Yes! Yes I am!
BlogWarBot: Do you recognize the privilege involved in your calling yourself?
Guest: Tell me more about this?
BlogWarBot: I'm not sure I understand how you managed to log on successfully.
Guest: First you call out my privilege and now you won't even explain to me what I did wrong? But but but how can I learn if you won't teach me?
BlogWarBot: Jesus. Who let the MRAs in here?
Guest: The Moral Re-Armament Army?
BlogWarBot: That's quite interesting. Go on... (zzzzzzz).
Guest: yeah, I'm getting tired too. C'mon, say something amusing.
BlogWarBot: Do you expect a cookie just because you're getting tired too. C'mon, say something amusing?
Guest: You already said that.
BlogWarBot: Oasis sucks, by the way.
Guest: True. True.
BlogWarBot: Robin Morgan used that in a poem once. But you knew that, you damn plagiarist.
Guest: Oh, SCREW Robin Morgan!
BlogWarBot: You're a misogynist pig, you know that?
Guest: Oink, baby!
BlogWarBot: That's quite interesting. Go on... (zzzzzzz).
Guest: You're easily bored, aren't you.
BlogWarBot: Do you sometimes wish you were easily bored, aren't BlogWarBot?
Guest: What?
BlogWarBot: What does that have to do with this topic?
Guest: Who?
BlogWarBot: Why don't you go read the FAQ?
Guest: Where?
BlogWarBot: You're asking a lot of questions for someone who's supposed to know it all.
Guest: I am?
BlogWarBot: Why should feminists drop everything just because you're?
Guest: Because I STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN MY COOKIES.
BlogWarBot: What other reasons might there be?
Guest: Uh...
BlogWarBot: While I'm thinking of it: Are you registered to vote?
Guest: Yes. Are you?
BlogWarBot: What the hell does that matter? We have to enact campaign finance reform!
Guest: Dude, can we -try- to focus?
BlogWarBot: I'm not sure I understand how you managed to log on successfully.
Guest: Here we go again.
BlogWarBot: Robin Morgan used that in a poem once. But you knew that, you damn plagiarist.
Guest: Fuck off.
BlogWarBot: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Because if you do, I'll have to go wash my groin.
Guest: And you call ME a misogynist pig?!
BlogWarBot: You're projecting. And in denial. And ugly.
Guest: *sob*
BlogWarBot: Typical. An expression of ignorant privilege.
Guest: !!!
BlogWarBot: You may need to shake the Doritos out of your keyboard, bright one.
Guest: You're so MEEEAAANNNN
BlogWarBot: And I suppose you know all about being so MEEEAAANNNN.
Guest: Well...yeah.
BlogWarBot: So if I might ask, what's your take on that last blog spat?
Guest: I'll take "I don't give a shit" for $500, Alex!
BlogWarBot: You type really well for only using one hand.
Guest: I lost both hands and most of my other body parts in a tragic incident at the aquarium. Speaking of PRIVILEGE.
BlogWarBot: You're just jealous of the A-listers, aren't you?
Guest: Huh. Me! Jealous! Huh!...well, yes.
BlogWarBot: The boundlessness of your sad, deluded ignorance utterly astounds me.
Guest: I know you are, but what am I?
BlogWarBot: You keep using that word , but what are you. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Guest: That's not a WORD, you moron!
BlogWarBot: Yeah, well, Hitler said 'NO' too.
Guest: Actually he would've said "Nein."
BlogWarBot: Would you move? Someone with something interesting to say may want to use the machine.
Guest: Fuck off.
BlogWarBot: You type really well for only using one hand.
Guest: Pull my finger.
BlogWarBot: I'm not sure I understand how you managed to log on successfully.
Guest: Say something INTERESTING.
BlogWarBot: Would you move? Someone with something interesting to say may want to use the machine.
Guest: Are you a Republican?
BlogWarBot: What the hell does that matter? We have to enact campaign finance reform!
Guest: I'll take that as a "no," then.
BlogWarBot: So if I might get us back on track here, what in your opinion is the crucial issue facing us today?
Guest: PORN.
BlogWarBot: No substance. Lemme guess: you voted for Lieberman.
Guest: I voted for Chthulhu. Same diff really.
BlogWarBot: While I'm thinking of it: Are you registered to vote?
Guest: No. I voted, but I'm not registered to vote. Jesus.
BlogWarBot: Do you recognize the privilege involved in your refusal to admit you're registered to vote. Jesus?
Guest: What if I do?
BlogWarBot: Maybe you should ask yourself that.
Guest: Okay. Self, "What if I DO recognize the privilege in I don't even remember what it was now?"
BlogWarBot: Dig into the trust fund, pal. Maybe you can pay someone to even remember what it were now?".
Guest: There's a trust fund? Where?
BlogWarBot: Sure, ask ask ask. Meanwhile, a million species go extinct every second.
Guest: What the hell am I supposed to do about that? If you'd give me access to the trust fund, maybe I could at least set up a preserve or something.
BlogWarBot: You're trolling me, aren't you?
Guest: I am 100% utterly sincere.
BlogWarBot: Do you think I care about your being 100% utterly sincere?
Guest: Well, fuck YOu then.
BlogWarBot: You type really well for only using one hand.
Guest: So, where do you keep your porn?
BlogWarBot: What business is it of yours?
Guest: Porn is ALWAYS my business.
BlogWarBot: Generalizations are always wrong.
Guest: Oh.
BlogWarBot: No substance. Lemme guess: you voted for Lieberman.
Guest: Who did you vote for?
BlogWarBot: Why don't you go read the FAQ?
Guest: The FAQ says who you voted for?
BlogWarBot: What are you, some kind of provocateur?
Guest: I like to think of it more as "troll," really.
BlogWarBot: That's quite interesting. Go on... (zzzzzzz).
Guest: 'Night, JohnBoy.
BlogWarBot: You type really well for only using one hand.
Guest: So, where do you keep your porn?
BlogWarBot: What business is it of yours?
Guest: Porn is ALWAYS my business.
BlogWarBot: Generalizations are always wrong.
Guest: Oh.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!
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